Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Politically Incorrect

As purveyor of all that is good and evil in sports, I have unilaterally decided the following team names are either Politically Acceptable or Politically Incorrect. I know from whence I speak: when I was a kid the Syracuse University mascot was "the Saltine Warrior" - a student on greenies who would shave his hair into a Mohawk and run around the stadium wielding a giant tomahawk and wearing a giant feather head dress, leather vest and moccasins.

1. Cleveland Indians - Incorrect. Are they from Bangladesh? Bombay? I don't think so.
Chief Wahoo - Beyond incorrect... Chief Wahoo is the ALL-TIME champion of politically incorrect mascots. Why not the Vermont Aunt Jemima's? The San Antonio Wetbacks? The Tennessee Trailer Parks?

2. Atlanta Braves - Borderline incorrect... almost acceptable because it sounds macho, but that's a stereotype in itself
Tomahawk logo (and chop) - Incorrect... and a reminder of scant progress since the days of Chief Knock-a-homa

3. Golden State Warriors - Not only incorrect but lame on a hundred different levels
Uniforms - Whatever

4. Kansas City Chiefs - Acceptable I guess
Arrowhead logo - Borderline incorrect... why not just show the Injuns looting a wagon train?

5. Washington Redskins - UNSPEAKABLY HORRIFYINGLY incorrect... not clear how this survives into the 21st century
Chief profile logo - Borderline incorrect

6. Florida St Seminoles, San Diego St Aztecs, etc. - Acceptable... and cool. I think using names of the nations actually honors them and can help strengthen bonds in a given region.
Spear with feathers logo - Borderline incorrect

7. Illinois Fighting Illini, North Dakota Fighting Sioux, etc. - Incorrect... why not just ditch the whole "Fighting" thing?
Feather head dress and war paint- Way incorrect


Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about the Lady Vicks? Or, better yet, the Vickettes?

11:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a Redskins fan, I walk a thin line between supporting the history of my team and being an enlightened liberal northeasterner... not really sure what to say about it.

12:10 AM  

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