Thursday, May 26, 2005

Doom and Gloom

Old habits die hard. Take the habit of always expecting the worst to happen. You see, our good friend Red has been expecting the inevitable Red Sox crash and burn. The problem is that last October, they didn't. They went all the way and won their first World Series in 86 years. Where can all that doom and gloom to go? It certainly isn't evident in these postings. Red's been happy as a pig in poop with the Sawks. He's cool with being in second, he doesn't mind the injuries to the pitching staff, he doesn't freak over bullpen meltdowns. Is this a new man? Well, as much as I'd like to say yes, I'm going to have to say no. You see, I'm the guy who shares an office with him. I know where the doom and gloom went. The new target is his fantasy baseball team. He's in first place, but he's predicting the biggest choke-job since, well, the 2004 Yankees. He thinks that all his players are going to get hurt, that his outfield of Johnny Damon, Hideki Matsui, and Carlos Beltran suck and will continue sucking for the rest of the year, and that everybody else's team will suddenly turn around and become a superstar mix of the Big Red Machine, Murderer's Row's, and half the ghosts from Field of Freakin' Dreams. Red, you have to enjoy winning. Enjoy being on top. Accept it. And, just remember, there are plenty of decaffinated brands out there that taste just like the real thing.


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