Thursday, April 14, 2005

Why Evan Doesn't Care

1. Because there are more important things to worry about in this world of ours. Like beer.
2. Because it's hard to root for a team that lost so many players, including Pedro, D-Lowe, and Mahow.
4. Because Wade Miller is going to be on the DL forever and you have a jelly-doughnut eating, under-achieving drunkard named David Wells in your rotation.
5. Because you miss NO-MAH!
6. Because Brandon Arroyo got rid of his Bo Derek hairdo.
7. Because you're just so gosh-darn tired of how your teams just keep on winning and winning and winning (see: Boston Red Sox 2004, New England Patriots 2002, 2004, 2005 and Syracuse Orangemen 2003). Jerk.
8. Because Schilling openly shills for God and Bush. Not necessarily in that order.
9. Because you have a new obsession: Fantasy baseball.
10. Because you miss the heartbreak and heartache. You really do.

It was fun while it lasted, but now the Red Sox are just like any other team that has won one over the past three quarters of a century. The problem is that the anticipation is the best part. The actual winning is good, but holding out for that long has a tension and the potential for release that will never happen for you again. Ever.

Hmmm... Maybe it's time for the two of us to root for a different baseball rivalry. I'll take the Cubs and you can have the Sox. The White Sox.



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