Monday, April 11, 2005

Fevah Pitch

SPOILER ALERT!! DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE!!

I saw the Sawx flick this weekend. I'm not going to write a review because I know you've already made up your mind whether you're going to see it or not. So I'll just give you my Top 10 Cliff's Notes:

1. There's no way it could ever live up to the hype. And so it doesn't. Especially if you're not a Sox fan. But will I buy the DVD? Duh!

2. I had tears streaming down my face at the end, but not because Drew and Jimmy hooked up. I had tears streaming down my face because it's the happiest ending EVER. In the history of motion pictures. It will never be topped. Ever. EVER!! Did I mention the ending? IT'S REALLY REALLY HAPPY!! Happy, the ending is.

3. Drew Barrymore was good because she comes across as juuuust dumb enough to date Jimmy Fallon. We've already seen her hook up with idiots like Adam Sandler and Tom Green in movies, so she's believable with this looza. Also, HER friends are way funnier than HIS friends. But if they'd done it right, it would have been the other way around.

4. Jimmy Fallon, not so much. Both sides of his character (the "Winter" and "Summer") are very well written. But the character should have been more Boston-y, i.e., with a South Boston accent. Why not Mahky-Mahk Wahlberg? He's actually cute enough for Drew. Also - and this is nit-picking - it would have been funnier and pulled more at the heartstrings if the guy was in his late 40s or 50s and had REALLY REALLY suffered. A Boston guy like Dennis Miller or Colin Quinn. The chick could have been played by someone his age too. (Pamela Anderson! Woo woo!)

5. Having said that, the screenwriters and directors did a GREAT job with the Sox stuff - much better than they did with the romance stuff. The historical details in the conversations... the nuances of the obsessed fans... the patience and frustration of the chick... are all pretty much right on.

6. There are a couple of great scenes that will help this movie crack the Top 10 of All-Time Baseball movies. THE classic, however, is when Jimmy Fallon finally snaps. He turns off all the lights and plays the Yastrzemski song while replaying the Buckner video. Over and over and over. LOL LOL ROFL. Also, a non-sequitur with a razor that gets cheap laughs belongs in a different Farrelly brothers movie.

7. The Sox are used wisely too... none of them have to speak. In one batting cage scene set in the late 70s, The Eck and Jim Rice play themselves. And the screen doesn't even do that out-of-focus fuzzy thing. They look exactly like they used to! And there's an excellent turning point scene where Johnny, Tek and Trot are enjoying a relaxed late-night dinner... just hours after the Game 3 ALCS debacle.

8. In terms of The Rivals, the Yankees are pretty much respected and feared - not at all hated. The (sparse) crowd with which we saw the movie in NJ laughed on cue every time the Yankees were mentioned. They even laughed at the end of ALCS game 7, when the screen showed A-Rod pacing the dugout, glaring at the Sox celebrating on the field.

9. Nice touch when Jimmy Fallon sells his season tickets for $110,000 - the same price the Sox received for selling Babe Ruth.

10. Lots of Yaz and Ted in this movie. Not to mention, Rico, Tony C, Pudge, Dewey, etc. (Can't remember any Nomar though...hmm.) And finally, I thought it was a real nice touch to have the whole thing end on a Yaz joke. What could be better than that?

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