Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Talking with God

Coincidentally – on the very same day we’re starting our 2005 Sox-Yankees web journal – I had a quick chance to chat with God. Here are the highlights of our conversation:

Me: Good morning God. Thanks for taking time out of your busy day.
God: Well, you picked a good day. The Super Bowl’s a week away and all these darn elections are finally over and done. Now if Trump would just shut up...
Me: First things first, God. I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank you for the outcome of the playoffs and World Series last year!
God: Oh gosh. I’d like to take credit, but that was all the Bambino. After that kid who lives in the Babe’s house got hit in the face with the foul ball, the Babe couldn’t take it any more... You didn’t really think I would influence a baseball game. Did you?
Me: Hmm. I guess not. But what about David Ortiz?
God: [blushing] Oh yeah. Well, that part was me.
Me: And Curt Schilling’s ankle?
God: Not telling. I’ve said too much already.
Me: Well it worked out great.
God: Ha! Yeah. Knock on wood. If you’re from Revere it did!
Me: So what’s in store for us this year? Any chance the rest of baseball can continue to shut the Yankees out?
God: Well, I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you. JUST KIDDING! You should have seen the look on your face! But seriously, that would ruin the fun, wouldn’t it?
Me: I suppose. But can you tell us if it will be close again?
God: Well 2003 and 2004 had a special yin and yang. They will be eternally paired. So let’s just say that if this saga is a trilogy, the ending will be truly Homeric (pardon the pun). In 2005, there will be intrigue and surprise where you least expect it. Keep your eye on the other divisions. There’s more to life than the AL East.
Me: Um... There is?
God: Ha! Just kidding again! I just wanted to make sure you were listening!
Me: Whew. OK. Well, I guess we’re out of time. Anything else you’d like to tell the fans?
God: Just to let everybody know I’m working on the whole Bud Selig thing...
Me: Great, thank you! How ’bout the steroids?
God: You know the answer to that. Remember: what goes around, comes around.
Me: Ha! Yep. I figured. Well, thanks so much for stopping by. What’s next for you?
God: Do you have to ask? Pitchers and catchers report in two weeks!


Blogger Otte Rosenkrantz said...

Very funny. Well done!

2:21 PM  

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