Thursday, February 10, 2005

The Lowdown

Current Yankees, Most Loved:
* Gary Sheffield because of his bat waggle, killer arm, and clutch play.
* Ruben Sierra because I love the sandwich and because he rides the bench without complaint.
* Tino Martinez because he has heart and is a leader.

Current Yankees, Most Hated:
* Jorge Posada because he is the opposite of clutch and will only strikeout when you need anything BUT a strikeout.
* Jason Giambi because he hasn't done crap since he put on the pinstripes.

Current Red Sox, Most Loved:
* Manny Ramirez because he has more fun than anyone playing the game. And because he always seems high.
* Tim Wakefield because he took losing in style and is one of the most charitable players in the majors.
* David Wells because deep down, he bleeds Bronx blue. And he likes to drink. A lot.

Current Red Sox, Most Hated:
* Curt Shilling because you shouldn't talk about God on TV and you really shouldn't be using baseball to support a political figure, Democrat or Republican.
* Bronson Arroyo because his hair styles suck ass.

Old Timer Yankees, Most Loved:
* Mickey Mantle because he could outdrink the entire lineup of the 1961 Red Sox.
* Craig Nettles because he had a rifle arm and a killer swing. And because I imitated his stance when growing up.
* Don Mattingly because he's a gamer. Because he never won a ring. Because he played as hard during every second of every game, even when losing.

Old Timer Yankees, Most Hated:
* Joe Dimaggio because he was an arrogant snob who had a head that was bigger than Yankee Stadium.
* Reggie Jackson because I hate strikeouts and egomaniacs.

Old Timer Red Sox, Most Loved:
* Yaz because he was the last to win the triple crown and was always classy.
* Freddie Lynn because he was fun to watch and because he popped that grand slam in the all star game to help the AL win.

Old Timer Red Sox, Most Hated:
* Ted Williams because he was an arrogant snob who had a head that was bigger than Fenway Park.
* Carlton Fisk because he hated Thurman Munson and because he doesn't deserve to be in Cooperstown.

Yankee Clutch Players:
* Gary Sheffield because he can be clutch in the field and at the plate. If you need an outfield assist, he's your man. If you need a double, a home run, or a sac fly, he's your man.
* Derek Jeter because he's everywhere.

Red Sox Clutch Players:
* Manny Ramirez because he's THE Yankee killer.
* Bill Mueller because he always seems to pull out an opposite field hit when you need him too. And because he does it from the eight spot.

Yankee Chokers:
* Jorge Posada because he's slower than paint drying and he only hits when you don't need it.
* Tom Gordon because he can't handle the pressure (see: 2004 ALCS game 5).

Red Sox Chokers:
* Jason Varitek because unlike every other Boston player, he can't hit in Yankee Stadium.
* Byung-Hyun Kim because he does more for the Yanks than the Sawks. Does this guy have money on the Bombers, or what?

Yankee Manager Issues: Torre gives players only one chance. If they happen to have one bad day, he sends them down to the minors. It's not fair and they end up being trade fodder and do sometimes do great on other teams (see: Ted Lilly, David Delucci, Mike Lowell).

Boston Manager Issues: Francona is a Toadie and won't stand up to his management or players. The whole Pedro/Nomar thing last year was pathetic. Have some balls, Terry!

Yankee Brass Issues: Steinbrenner doesn't know when to leave well enough alone. Cashman doesn't stick with players if they've had a bad season and trades them away too easily.

Red Sox Brass Issues: Epstein and I are cool. However, the rest of the brass aren't baseball guys. John Henry looks like a nerdy rich guy who has baseball as a hobby. It shouldn't be a hobby. It should be an owner's life.

Yankee Predictions:
* Yankees with the AL East.
* Randy Johnson starts out 0-3, then goes 17-2 from there.
* Tom Gordon will be a head case.
* Giambi will be decidedly mediocre, hitting .268 with 22 HRs.
* A-Rod and Sheffield will have 40 HR seasons.
* Matusi will hit .320 with 30 HRs.
* Womack, Bernie, and Posada have all jumped the shark and will all have bad seasons.

Red Sox Predictions:
* Boston will get the wildcard.
* Shilling will come in second in the Cy Young race.
* Arroyo will win 15 games.
* Manny will win the triple crown.
* Kevin Millar will be involved in some funky sex scandal. While wearing a Cowboy Up shirt.
* Wells will go on DL for 2 months but walk only 10 throughout the year.
* Foulke will have the most saves in the AL.


Blogger Tyler said...

It's Mantle, not Mantel. Geez. And from a Yankee fan no less.

--Tyler, a friend of Evan's nephew Andy

8:45 PM  
Blogger The Rivals said...

Tyler, thank you so much for taking the time to point that out to me. I have just fired the editor and one of our interns. It is my sincere hope that your sensitive little eyes will never again have to gaze upon a typo in our blog.

Now that I've taken care of that little matter, why don't you put your energy into making some real comments instead of nit-picking at my spelling? Sheesh. I'm starting to think that Vassar has gone back to being an all-girls school...

Who are your favorite players? Which Yankees and Sawks (sp?) do you despise? What are your predictions?

I look forward to seeing your answers, pal.

12:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jorge Posada most hated? What a joke, get your priorities straight. Catcher has been the only position the Yankees havent had to worry about for the past few years with Jorge. Not to mention hes probably the only catcher in the league that can handle the coming and going associated with the yankees pitching rotation.

9:12 PM  
Blogger The Rivals said...


You are so very right to give me crap about Posada being on my list. Overall, Posada is a really good catcher. A great catcher, in fact. He can call a game with the best of them, he's got a rifle for an arm, and he handles a prima-donna pitching staff with aplomb.

Now, I have to admit, I sometimes get blinded by offensive statistics, particularly as it relates to strikeouts in clutch situations. For the record, I also get blinded by pitchers giving up walks in difficult situations (see: Kevin Millar, game 4 ALCS). Call it a weakness.

With that said, I promise to work on it and be more objective. I won't change the posting, but I will make sure to think of everything that he brings to the club throughout the year. Who knows, maybe he'll make it up to the clutch list when I do my end of the year analysis.

Thanks for the comments. Keep 'em coming...


7:00 PM  

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